Practice

We really need the baby to come at this point.

Running a marathon with my baby

Hands-free grooming

Hey big guy!

*Actual baby may end up being less hairy

Now Hear This

Sometimes when I'm driving along and a song comes on the radio that I've heard a million times over - so much so that it's not even music but just white noise - I'll try to hear it as if I was hearing it for the first time. It's basically impossible to do, and probably isn't safe while driving, since you have to pretty much focus all of your attention on every minor nuance in the song, but it's thrilling when it works. It usually involves just turning up the song really loud so that you can experience it in a way that maybe you haven't before. I mean when was the last time you listened to a great Beatles song really loud? Be sure to do it with a song that was good in the first place, because the reaction to hearing a Phil Collins song 500 millions times is the same as hearing it for the first time - sort of uneventful. But when you're listening to say, Come Together by the Beatles, and you not only try to hear it with fresh ears, but try placing yourself in the time when it was released and the results are pretty spectacular (especially since Come Together still sounds SO FUCKING GOOD today).

What does this have to do with fatherhood? I'm jealous of the fact that my son has yet to hear any songs. Not one. He hasn't heard Fly Like an Eagle so many times that it's nauseating. He won't automatically think of a Cadillac ad the first time he hears Zeppelin's Rock and Roll and Roger Daltry's gutteral scream in the middle of Won't Get Fooled Again will make him want to run out and change the world rather than think of the opening credits to CSI. Every track ever recorded, all of the iTunes store is just sitting there waiting for him. One Big Exciting Opportunity. I can't wait.

Tom Petty said it best: The wayaaaaaayting is the hardest part"

Okay, Jana you're right, it has been a long time, and there have been some fun moments in the prep for fatherhood that I definitely should have beeen blogging about. Here's a recap:

Baby Class at Salt Lake Regional

Sort of anti-climatic. We watched videos for 4 weeks and passed around a bed pan full of mini cran-apple juices that the nurse had stole from the cafeteria. What did I learn from all this? I learned that if ladies are going to let the miracle of life be filmed for all prosterity they might want to consider cleaning house down there. There was an expectant mother in the class who kept asking about how she could avoid peeing on herself during labor. The nurse thought she was joking, but the girl was like, "No, really, I'll be so embarrassed." Bonnie, the nurse teaching the class, was awesome though, she said, "Don't worry sweetie, after you shit yourself you won't care anymore." Well maybe she didn't put it quite like that.

Getting the nursery ready

Cribs come in large boxes that are hard to recycle.

Coming up with a name

Everyone has an opinion about this, which is sort of strange, considering it's kind of a personal choice - I mean it's the name I am branding another human life with. Yet people who I wouldn't let me help pick out the toppings on a pizza want to be involved. And people give you the most useless reasoning for why I shouldn't give my child a particular name. "Oh you can't possibly name him George. I knew a George in school and he used to stutter." Well I'm sorry for you that you will have to remember this George kid from 3rd grade every time you see my son which will be never.

On Freedom

We haven't really been taking advantage of our last few moments of freedom before parenthood. You should really do that before you get pregnant because once you find out, it seems that your "old person out of touch with all things relevent and fun" genes kick in. I'll be seeing Metallica just before the baby is born and I can't really think of a better way to say goodbye to my youth. But the fact that I'm seeing them with my friend Erik - who has three kids of his own - gives me hope.