Okay, Jana you're right, it has been a long time, and there have been some fun moments in the prep for fatherhood that I definitely should have beeen blogging about. Here's a recap:
Baby Class at Salt Lake Regional
Sort of anti-climatic. We watched videos for 4 weeks and passed around a bed pan full of mini cran-apple juices that the nurse had stole from the cafeteria. What did I learn from all this? I learned that if ladies are going to let the miracle of life be filmed for all prosterity they might want to consider cleaning house down there. There was an expectant mother in the class who kept asking about how she could avoid peeing on herself during labor. The nurse thought she was joking, but the girl was like, "No, really, I'll be so embarrassed." Bonnie, the nurse teaching the class, was awesome though, she said, "Don't worry sweetie, after you shit yourself you won't care anymore." Well maybe she didn't put it quite like that.
Getting the nursery ready
Cribs come in large boxes that are hard to recycle.
Coming up with a name
Everyone has an opinion about this, which is sort of strange, considering it's kind of a personal choice - I mean it's the name I am branding another human life with. Yet people who I wouldn't let me help pick out the toppings on a pizza want to be involved. And people give you the most useless reasoning for why I shouldn't give my child a particular name. "Oh you can't possibly name him George. I knew a George in school and he used to stutter." Well I'm sorry for you that you will have to remember this George kid from 3rd grade every time you see my son which will be never.
On Freedom
We haven't really been taking advantage of our last few moments of freedom before parenthood. You should really do that before you get pregnant because once you find out, it seems that your "old person out of touch with all things relevent and fun" genes kick in. I'll be seeing Metallica just before the baby is born and I can't really think of a better way to say goodbye to my youth. But the fact that I'm seeing them with my friend Erik - who has three kids of his own - gives me hope.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
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7 comments:
You don't have to say goodbye to everything fun when you become a parent... you just need a lot more babysitters.
And you can't name the baby Lars Ulrich, because it's the name of this dude in Metallica and I will think of that every time I see your baby.
I am always shocked when I find out people didn't name thier babies after me??
If you think the videos were fun, just wait until the delivery room! I got into an arguement with the nurse with our first child about whether or not I could deliver him by myself (medical school my ass!), sadly I was out voted and let the doctor do it.
Erik says,
"Hells Yeah......Metalica Rules"!!!
(Burritos and ice cream before show right? and maybe we could make a stop and Barnes and Noble...and don't forget the earplugs...and maybe could we duck out around 10:00?)
Wait Robert, let me get this straight. You took your wife to the hospital thinking you would get to deliver it yourself? The only hospital they're going to let you pull that shit is Castleview. By the way, I plan on circumsizing my baby at home with a pair of scissors and a glue stick.
Erik, the show is so going to ROCK! (and also, do we have to stand up the whole time? Do you think we can tell the people in front of us to sit down?)
You try cleaning up the nether regions around a giant belly. It is not an easy task. And maybe to avoid this embaressing situation yourself you go for a wax and the 105 pound 19 year old says to you, while you're in a compromising position, "so they make underwear for pregnant women, huh?" No I prefer to always wear underwear that rest just below my breasts.
Just to clear this up, I didn't plan on delivering my own child, however when I saw the head and the doctor wasn't in the room yet, I tried to convince the nurse that I had things under control. For some reason my own wife agreed with the nurse and we waited for the doctor to show up. If my only choice were Castleview I would go to the vet!
Cori - that is hilarious!
Davis, I still prefer the image of you saying, "I am going to deliver this goddamn baby myself. But first we need to go to the hospital because they have all the fancy tools."
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