I know it's probably not a great idea for my inaugural "Daddy Blogs" post to be comprised of a list of things that I will miss about not having kids, but however inappropriate, as we get closer to delivery I can't help but think of all the things I will most likely not be able to do once our child is born. I'm sure I am not alone in having these thoughts, as my wife's favorite game of late is "How would we do this with the baby?" Making dinner, "How would we do this with the baby?" Grocery shopping, "How would we do this with the baby?" Most of the time the answer is, "Steph, I would continue [insert activity] while you were with the baby." This usually ends the conversation and we go about making crank calls to Tom and Katie Cruise.
Here then is a partial list of things I will miss about not having a baby:
1. The meth lab where the nursery will now be.
2. Staged readings of David Mamet plays in the backyard.
3. Leaving the bathtub full of water in the event I need an impromptu soak.
4. The handmade wallpaper in the guest room made up of stills from my favorite German porno films.
5. Chompers, our pet kimono dragon.
About Me
3 comments:
what you and Steph will find out is that you do everything with the "baby" and also that they don't say babies for very long.
Oh you can still have the meth lab with a baby. Just ask half of West Valley.
I hear a diet rich in black coffee and nicotine will stunt the baby's growth. I want to be able to keep him in one of those designer puppy bags.
Post a Comment